Let The Storm Calm, As The Willow Weeps

He Said ~ 

And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you’re far from home

And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true

Be courageous and be brave

And in my heart you’ll always stay

Forever young 

And when you finally fly away, I’ll be hoping that I served you well

For all the wisdom of a lifetime, no one can ever tell

But whatever road you choose, I’m right behind you win or lose

Forever young

It is that time. The trip back to college, this is the BIG ONE – she is a senior.

Summer was thick this year. Languidly, we attempted to push through the smoldering unpredictability and lingering recollections, meditating on the rebirth autumn may present.    

There is an old album titled August and Everything After. The phrase evokes a translucent nostalgia. It bestows the gift of endurance; this is sometimes significant when the calendar stares back at you with 31 days. 

What makes this turn of season more dramatic is the sense of impending fade outs coupled with vanishing fade ins. 

You hear many say “this is my favorite time of year,” when referring to fall. It has always been used as a metaphor for the autumn of life, a moment for reflection. With its golden colors and crisper air it perfectly symbolizes the later stages of our journey. 

And yet, as my daughter returns to her second home, (college), and embarks on the enthralling experiences which will culminate in graduation next spring; there is a reminder of how September with its vibrant, fiery foliage also represents the beautiful and positive results of transformation. 

This is accomplished as the dying leaves nourish the soil below with new growth.         

She Said ~

On August 4th, 2025, at 4:15 a.m., the world as I knew it ceased to exist. The ground beneath me fell away without the warning of an emergency broadcast system, or instructions to seek higher ground, or remain indoors. 

This was a natural disaster of another kind.

I was awakened from a deep slumber by my vibrating cell phone. The voice on the other end, my father’s – trembled, whimpered, and spoke words I  was not prepared to hear, “your mother has passed away.” What happened next I cannot say with any certainty, I only know I let out some form of a scream followed by a stream of tears.

During the course of the next day, I would learn my mother passed away from a massive heart attack. The hours that followed were a blur; a whirlwind of things that needed to be done: book a flight, pack, secure transportation, and finalize my itinerary. But first, I had to make the most difficult phone call I have ever made, to my sister.

You see, throughout my life, it has never failed, my mother and sister have always been there for me. I struggled to come up with the words which would ultimately change her life too.  

Through tears, I somehow managed to say, “mom has passed.” I can still hear her, as she struggled to process what I was saying, “oh boy, oh boy.”

Here we are, August 27, 2025, and those words take on new meaning each day. Sometimes, we utter them in prayer, other times in disbelief, and still others in despair. 

My mother was and will always be the soul of our tribe, and her absence is all encompassing and resounding.

Our evening chats were ritualistic in nature but always ended with, “God bless you.” The evenings are quiet without her. I glance at the clock as if expecting her, any minute now. 

I miss the sound of her voice, chuckle, and annoyance at my feeble attempts to keep track of her well-being.

My mother’s annoyance always sounded more like a plea not to worry. After all, she was my mother and not the other way around. 

I understand now.

There was simply no preparing me for her loss. Every day without her is  less bright. And so, I look for her in the Weeping Willow Trees, the music she loved, the stories we recount, and the photographs of years past.

I know we’ll meet again. Until then, I will embrace her memory, the lessons she imparted, her strength, and her overwhelming love for me.

I love her too.

Did You Know? “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”