Communicating and dealing with people can be hard for everyone, at one point or another. Whether it is work related or if it is pleasure, it is important to learn psychology to make things run more smoothly. The following are not to be confused with ways to maliciously manipulate others into getting what you want, but to simply improve overall communication and relationships with others.
So, let us examine some psychological tricks that can make your life easier:
Look into someone’s eyes when you get a dissatisfactory answer –
Sometimes we do not like the answer to a question that we receive and sometimes we do not understand it. Instead of repeating the question or asking another, look into the eyes of the person. This will make the person feel under pressure or cornered, and this will force them to further elaborate their thoughts.
Stay calm when someone raises their voice to you –
Make a strong effort to remain calm. When a loudmouth acts out it is usually in anger, and our behaviors can sometimes unintentionally provoke that. The feelings of anger usually quickly subside and guilt will set in and usually this person is first to ask for forgiveness.
Write down your thoughts when you feel stressed or anxious –
We all feel some level of mental stress or anxiety at some point. Write down your thoughts in a journal and then close it up. Believe it or not, you will be able to focus on your work more easily because you have now shared your thoughts with someone. When you share them, you will then feel the burden on your mind reduced.
Give yourself fewer choices when you can’t make the decision –
Some people believe that it is better to have more choices and more information. However, it is actually paralyzing to have too many. There is evidence that shows that having four options at a time is the maximum number we can consider and still make a choice. In order to be an effective decision maker, you should only give yourself a few options at a time. This will allow you to consider each one while giving you enough space before examining a new set of options.
If you want people to like you more –
Many think that doing favors for others will make them like you more. What if I told you it was the other way around? If you want people to like you more, ask them to do a favor for you. When someone does a favor for you their subconscious thinks, “I’m doing something for this person, so I must like and care about them.”
Don’t Correct People When They are Wrong –
This one is hard; however, telling someone they are wrong typically does the opposite of endearing them to you. There is a better way to show disagreement and turn it into a polite discussion. Hearing that you are wrong typically strikes the core of the ego and can be unpleasant. This following technique is known as the Ransberger Pivot, which was invented by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz. The idea is simple: instead of arguing, listen to what they have to say; ask them to explain how they feel and why they feel that way. Once you have actually listened, explain your common ground, (what you agree with), and use that as a starting point to explain your position. This makes it much more likely that they are going to listen to what you have to say. It also allows you to correct them without an argument. (I mean, unless you like to argue).
Other tricks:
- If you think someone does not care for you, ask him or her to borrow their pen or pencil.
- If you cannot seem to get a song out of your head try remembering the end of it.
- During an introduction, make a note of someone’s eye color. You are not going to use this information, it is just important to take note of it. It is a technique to achieve optimum eye contact. People find this friendly and confident.
Did You Know? You know that feeling when you are trying to convince someone of something? It’s frustrating as hell, right? Here’s the part no one talks about – your body language is doing half the work. Try this: When you are asking a question you want a “yes” to, nod subtly as you speak. There is science behind this. It is called the “chameleon effect.” People subconsciously mimic the body language of those they are talking to.