Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Omelet

“That doesn’t bother you?”

He was referring to the tongue of my sneaker, (a strip of material located under the laces of certain footwear).

“I didn’t even realize it was like that,” I responded. Meanwhile, the tongue was so tightly squashed beneath the laces it exposed mostly sock. Sadly, the strangulation I felt had nothing to do with my shoe.

Moments earlier, the unrelenting gnawing that had been corroding my core for three months, evolved from avoidance of the inevitable, to an incurable confirmation of the unthinkable.

My best friend is dying.

Roll Call, circa 1984, well homeroom at least. I sat behind him in every high school class we were in together. We also had lockers next to one another, two of the four years we suffered through our parochial, single-gender, secondary education.

He accused me of stealing his shoes. I did not.

However, I did remove the Vanna White pictures adorning his school assigned closet. 

But …

You forgave me, even after decades of denial, regarding this petty theft.

You forever simplify all life’s complexities.

You didn’t even complicate cancer.

You battle this unyielding illness like a warrior engaged; yet you are entirely cognizant of the humility required to combat it, with your refined temperament.

I, on the other hand, am so ANGRY — at the moments we do not have left; at the Mets games we have yet to watch; at the laughter we share each and every time we are together; at the absurdity of our unknown; at the tears ceaselessly streaming down each moment I confront this; at the beer we haven’t consumed; at those who could be doing more; at life for not taking less; at sundowns that now slip away so quickly; at dawn rising and now mocking; at the insipid cruelty of the moons glow and tides flow; at the poets still left to perform; at the fear of not knowing what I will do without you.

P.S. You passed away on Father’s Day; after more than 18 months of grueling endurance. You made it through one last suffocating summer; you witnessed the erratic dancing of the falling leaves; your cozy home was adorned with holiday remembrances, as decorations were placed and traditions honored; you survived the pummeling northeast snow storms of 2026; and you courageously accompanied your daughter on her wedding day, as April marked your everest; and, then, you calmly closed your eyes. 

And now, my brother and my anchor – you will dream. 

Thank You for forever staying gold, and for being my friend.      

Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you it doesn’t mean I love you any less

Keep me in your heart for awhile

When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Hold me in your thoughts, take me to your dreams

Touch me as I fall into view
When the winter comes keep the fires lit
And I will be right next to you

Keep me in your heart for awhile